Lessons From a Pup

Alongside me this morning as I write, sitting in my favorite chair, lies a precious little schnauzer girl - Little Miss Molly. She has attached herself to me, especially when she is tired and needs a nap. I wrote last week about how she curls up in my slippers, and she is still doing that if I am not available, but how she dearly loves to snuggle in my lazy-boy, and be as close to me as possible. She does the same with Ron, but loves to snuggle in his arms. That's quite a sight, ‘cause Ron is not a small man by any means, and she looks so tiny in his arms.

She has become quite the adaptable girl. This last week we had house guests, and she made herself comfortable in their arms too - quickly. She plays tug-o-war, chews whatever she can find, and loves to go outside to explore. She has learned to tolerate the leash, because little "Miss Independent" loved to take off down the driveway, and considering that she is so small and close to the pavement's color, she would be nearly impossible for a driver to see.

She has rapidly learned how to be the boss! It's so cute at bedtime. She has a little bed near ours, and once we have gotten in bed, she wants the light turned off right away. She will whine until we turn it off, or if she doesn't get her way, she places both paws over her eyes to block out the light so she can sleep.

Amazing how much one can learn from a dog!

• She eats only when she is hungry (Isn't that smart?)
  
• She sleeps when she is tired. (m.m.m.)
  
• She knows how and where to get affection and comfort.
  
• She freely gives affection, and so receives it from others.
  
• She trusts the ones who care for her and provide her needs.

Wouldn't we be so much better off if we followed those points?

Molly 'N Me - You Too!

One of the greatest fundamental needs of all human beings is to connect, with self, with others and with a Higher Power. Believe it or not, it's not only humans that need and long to connect; dogs do too.

We have a miniature schnauzer puppy. She is the tiniest, most petite little doll that I have ever seen, when it comes to puppies, that is. She has the typical schnauzer haircut, and looks rather like a well-bred, a.k,c. champion, full grown schnauzer, in very miniature form. Her name is Molly.

Molly has been with us for a week. So she is very new. Just like humans do, when they are in a strange environment with people they don't know, Molly was sheepish on day one. On the long trip home from the breeder, leaving both her Mom, Dad and siblings behind, she slept a lot. Guess that was one way to deal with separation anxiety. She slept on my lap the whole trip, except for ½ an hour when we made a quick stop for something to eat. Then she rested in one of the special carrying cases that one uses for a pet when traveling by airline. She didn't eat much - a couple tablespoons of food, and an ounce or two of water.

Once we got home, she walked around the yard and did her business, and we carried her up the five steps into the house. She slept in a nicely padded kennel, but was a bit fitful that first night - not really happy to be away from her family and in a little kennel. Day one at home she was a bit more animated, but still wanted to be held most of the time, and she got her way - that irresistible little sweetheart.

Day two, she began to warm up in a big way! She was all over the place! She would run around the house, we'd take her out periodically, and then she'd be back in the house and wanting to be on our laps. She learned to climb those big steps in and out of the house in no time, she whined when she wanted to go out, and slowly she began to eat more.

Today it's been a week since we got her. She is very much attached to us both, but we can't just sit holding her. When she realizes that we are busy, she most often looks for my slippers. No, she doesn't really chew them, but she curls up on them for a nap. As I write, that's where she is - asleep with her nose in my slipper. That's her way of being close - connected.

That's how we are. We long to be close too. Each of us has a God-shaped hole in our heart, and while we try to fill it with addictions and other people, still nothing really does the trick as well as the real thing - God. We were created to have the need to be whole. Ever since the incident in the Garden of Eden, humans have been disconnected. The guilt and shame of sin and our wounds have caused the separation. We have been looking to be re-connected now for centuries, and long ago, God provided His Son as the bridge back to relationship, to being whole. Our substitutions for that original connection that we lost way back then, just don't fill the bill like my slippers don't really fill Molly's heart. They are only temporary fixes for the real thing.

I for one, want the real thing! You too?

Weeds

Since moving up to the mountains, I have been having a daily controversy with the weeds. It seems to me, and our neighbor agrees, that you can dig out all the weeds in a given area, come in the house exhausted but delighted that you got rid of the things, and then when you go outside again in a couple of hours, there's a whole lot more weeds where you just weeded! I don't get it. How come they grow really fast but the pretty stuff you plant doesn't?

I will have to say however, that pretty plants put into my little rock garden last year, are really blooming beautifully this year. There were a few weeds there too, but I carefully removed them so that the pretties would show off well.

You know, this reminds me of the human life. I looked up the definition of weed in the dictionary, and believe it or not, what I found is so true of the "weeds" in our experience. The dictionary says that a weed is: "An unwanted plant, especially a wild plant growing where it is not wanted."

I have weeds in my life, and if you're human, I bet you do too. Impatience is one of mine. I want this unpacking to be done and over, but it can't be until we do several things in the house - Like a Master Bathroom shower that needs to be moved to where the huge corner tub is (that we NEVER use) and a lovely cedar lined closet put where the old shower was. And when our addition is completed (isn't started yet) we will have a huge closet for ministry items. It's hard to look at those two trailers that are currently parked in our driveway, and just dream them away - empty!

Another of my weeds is busyness, and unfortunately that one is tied to impatience. It's hard for me to just relax, to sit and write, when I can think of so many other things that I want to do to make our home a restful place. Clutter drives me nuts! So I just keep working at it, endeavoring to find a place for everything and putting everything in its place. All the busyness is tiring, and then it's easy to be short or touchy with others.

So what to do with all these weeds? Just keep plucking them out, I guess. I can spray them with some sort of weed-killer, but they are toxic, and anyway, you end up looking at dead weeds instead of live ones. Is that really any better? And the other thing to do is to plant lovely flowers where there is just plain dirt and weeds. One can do that in the character too. Pluck up the unwanted weeds (behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes) and plant lovely flowers that will give you and everyone who looks on, a lift.

Happy planting!

Memorial Day

Today we remember, that's what a memorial is, a remembrance.

In my cedar chest, I have a treasure from my parents' lives. Medals my father won in high school because of his athletic prowess, certificates of recognition he received during World War II's nightmares in Europe. My father was a medic and a man of great courage and leadership ability during his years in the military. I marvel when I look at pictures of him in his dress uniform and in his everyday military attire. These are simply tangible mementos of his abilities and courage, and the courage of his buddies, some of whom came home and others who did not.

During the same war, his cousin Eric was a Commander in the British Navy. Sometime during that treacherous time, his leg was crushed between two battleships. He recovered and continued his military career for several more years, fighting for our strongest ally and in turn, for us.

I recall my Grandma Scott, who came to America from England during World War I, traveling on a cattle ship. Along with her came her mother and her great aunt. Talk about courage to travel 3000 miles in embattled waters, for the privilege of experiencing the opportunities and freedoms that could be found by immigrating to the United States. My Grandfather (not then married to Grandma) had already come and contributed his weaving expertise to the New England textile mills. Many British came, many Germans and Italians came, to find a better life in a new world. Most of them came through Ellis Island in New York, past the famous Statue of Liberty "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free . . ."

I remember my Mother telling of one of the horrors of war while my father was overseas. Just across the street from their duplex, was a small grocery store. Each day one or two uniformed military would enter that store, find out the location of an address they held on official U. S. Government papers, and would then walk or drive to those addresses, delivering messages of gloom, injury and death to wives or parents of loved ones serving our country. Each day my mother prayed that the knock would not come to her door. It was not only the men in uniform who suffered, but the wives and parents who waited and hoped for the war to end.

I remember Vietnam and its incredible atrocities, 9/11 and the terror on our soil, and the resulting conflict in Iraq. Memories are stories of the heart and mind, symbols of days gone by, sometimes hidden away until some stimulus from the present brings them vividly before us again. Memorial Day is such a stimulus!

On this day of remembering please recall with us the greatness of our country for which these men and women fought, the liberties they sought to defend and the leaders who were worth following. Perhaps our remembering and our prayers will reawaken sleepy pride in our land and rekindle some sort of determination to keep our country great enough to fight for and true to its founding principles and its God.

Blessed Rain

Today has been one of the nicest mountain days we've experienced so far! It rained!

About two weeks ago, we were headed to town on an errand that needed to be done. As we rounded the corner out of our subdivision, we saw plumes of smoke and orange flames shooting into the air from about 50 yards ahead. Now that's a moment that takes your breath away! Here in the mountains it has been dry. Yes, there was snow this winter, but not enough for the forest to remain sufficiently moist enough to discourage wild fires. Unfortunately, added to the dry conditions are the destructive behaviors of some folk who love to see fire and perhaps the devastation it causes, so they deliberately start the flames. That fire had been set.

Fifteen minutes later, we called our daughter who lives about three blocks from us, to inform her of the situation. "Oh yes, I know," she said. "There it goes again! A huge plane has been dive-bombing overhead - I think it is spraying fire retardant. There are a couple of helicopters buzzing overhead too. I just talked to hubby (a police sergeant) and he said they aren't letting anyone into our sub-division, so you'd better call me before you try to come back home," she warned.

Yesterday afternoon, Ron and I decided to take a break from the unpacking and other work, to take a ride for gas in our putt-putt (glorified golf cart). When we went outside, we could smell smoke. The eastern skies were filled with the stuff. One of the neighbors told us that the fire was in Arabella, a town about 30 miles from us, but the wind was carrying the smoke our way.

By the time we got home, an hour later, the smoke had greatly lessened, but I was in trouble! Dry smoky air and traveling pollen and allergens had hit me with a vengeance! I had been battling a mild cold, but with the addition of these irritants, I went into an allergic reaction like I hadn't had for years!

A quick hop into the shower, Benadryl and an herbal anti-allergy medication finally settled down the reaction. Today, things are considerably better. Many prayers for rain have brought moist relief to the mountains, and the deer are visible in abundance, drinking in the welcome moisture from the wet grasses. God has sent a gentle, misty rain that has lasted most of the day and evening, and everyone is rejoicing. Probably the visitors on motorcycles aren't too happy, as their festival is being dampened, but the residents of our community are breathing easier tonight! We expect another rainy day tomorrow.

Showers of blessings! Everyone benefits: Allergy sufferers, forests, forest animals, the fire departments in the area, residents whose fears of the next fire are being quieted, and certainly all of us who have prayed for this moisture, preserving fauna, forest and homes. Showers of blessing, indeed!

The Touch of God

Have you ever felt totally exhausted, overwhelmed and wondered where the energy would come from for one or two more activities? Well, that's just where we were a few days ago!

As you know, we moved a couple of weeks ago - truck, trailer and car. Behind, we left items that couldn't fit into our traveling vehicles, in the garage, and that faced us after endeavoring to unpack, spending four days preparing for EIDO, making the trip to Washington State, making the necessary purchases and then teaching for six long days. Then there was a bit of counseling yet to do, and finally the return trip. We had planned to drive to Phoenix, pack up the remaining items in our flatbed trailer, and then drive to El Paso, pick up the Pacifica parked at the airport where we left it to go to Washington, and then three hours up the hill to home.

After finishing EIDO, we decided we would postpone that trip to Phoenix and head straight home, endeavoring to get a little rest before the last leg of the move. We called our friends to let them know that they didn't have to worry about overnight guests, and got the surprise of our lives!

Kenny had taken his son and his worker to our garage. He had built sides for our trailer, and packed it completely with all the leftovers. WHAT??? He would do that for us?? Yes!

So again we changed our plans, and got off the plane in Phoenix. Ken and Donna met us at the airport, took us home for a cool, light supper, gave us the beautifully appointed guest room for the night, a delightful breakfast in the morning, and then sent us on our way to El Paso and on to home.

What kind of friends would care that much to take the risk, pack up someone else's "stuff" and surprise them with the greatest gift ever? Friends who love you and want the best for you; friends who know you well enough to know that you'd be exhausted after a move and a lengthy seminar, friends who know that you have enough challenges and want to lighten your load, friends who listen to God and respond to His voice.

So yes, Kenny, Donna, Robbie and Mario - you loved, you cared, you listened, and you cannot believe how loved we feel! The relief that the necessary move has been made is beyond thrilling.

Thank you seems so insipid - yet it seems to be all we can say. YOU ARE LOVED!

And now, on to more of the unpacking!

The Move

So . . . the move has occurred and we are in our mountain home - well almost!

Our place is currently decorated with cardboard and plastic boxes dotted amongst the furniture. There are piles of things yet to be placed where they should go, and in some cases, there are not sufficient places for those things. Yes, we are downsizing, but even having done a lot of that, it's not quite enough! We have moved from approximately 2100 square feet to 1568. It's a tight squeeze! We do hope to add on a family room/studio, but that'll be when we have sufficient funds to do so! It will allow us to film things at home rather than flying east or driving 2 ½ hours one way to a studio and then paying for studio time. In the long run, it'll pay dividends both in energy and saved money, but to begin with, it's an outlay of cash we don't have!

Thank God we have wonderful friends. Kenny, Donna, Deb and Doug helped with packing and loading the truck and trailer. Our children and church family and Donna (who drove with us for company and to help for 5 days) helped to unload on this end. Donna was an unbelievable help! I bet she is still exhausted and attempting to relax at home.

Things surely do change as time goes on. Twenty years ago probably everything would be in its place already, but one week of being here has not been sufficient to empty boxes, build shelves and place things where they need to be. Our backs and legs ache and we wonder if we'll ever be "normal" again!! We try to work a bit and then rest a bit, but that just slows down the process, doesn't it?

Sometimes I think it's a bit scary to be feeling my age, and other times I am thankful that I am not a teen or even in my thirties in these times we are experiencing. I think about how grateful we are to be near our children and grandchildren, to watch them mature and experience their accomplishments. Abby (age 14) sang in a spring concert at her school. She shined especially when she did her solo, while both grandmas and her parents cheered her on and delighted in her flawless performance. Hannah (age 9) came to the house and saw Donna and me putting the legs on our dining room table and asked, "Are we coming here to have dinner with you tonight?" Bless her heart; you couldn't see the fridge for the boxes! The day before, she had been a real champion mover!

So as the boxes slowly disappear and the place begins to look like home, I shall thank the good Lord for the mountain home He has provided and the friends we now miss who helped us to move, and the family nearby who bring love into our hearts and home.

Spring

Spring has sprung - in some places anyway.  This weekend, we took a ride with some friends and in three hours passed through rain, sleet, snow, sunshine and a beautiful rainbow.  Having experienced various weather conditions in such a short span, we took the rainbow as God's promise that spring is definitely on its way - as usual!  This year it just seems to be taking its time. 


 
Every year about this time, daffodils, crocus, singing birds and tulips here and there announce that the deadness of winter is being replaced again by new life.  Delicate light green new leaves sprout on what looked like dead branches and folks begin to spend time planning their plantings for the summer.

Me too!  I've been thinking about the little garden near the main entrance of our mountain home.  I drew it on a napkin as we flew home from a seminar last week, and pictured the colorful blooms surrounding our three wooden bears - Mama, papa and baby. Our butterfly bushes are hopefully springing to life again, and I look forward to the winged activity that surrounds them when the blooms appear.  Our Blue spruce trees will have their soft new growth in a couple of weeks, and the large cedar beside our hillside driveway will have a bench placed beneath it and perhaps a few flowers that do well in shade planted nearby.  I hope to plant something nice in three huge pots we will take from Arizona to the mountains, so that there will be some color on our deck. We sit there in the cool early morning with our cups of hot tea - our special time of the day to enjoy the crisp, clean air, plan our day and listen to the sounds of the nature that surrounds us.


 
There is something very special about each season, but spring has an emotional component that is different than the other three seasons. It's a time of hope, of birth, of reassurance that God is in His heaven and all is right with the world.  Even in this time of strife everywhere, there's something about a cheery daffodil, a pansy's perky face and the sweet chirping of birds who have been away or hiding for the winter, that says to me that God is still in charge, the seasons change on time, life springs even thru the winter's snow and God will still take care of his children.
 
It can be easy to get discouraged listening to and watching the news. Fears for the future can pop up out of nowhere, just like the crocuses through the snow.  But if you find yourself in that state - wondering what will become of the world around us and the people in it, just go out in God's glorious fresh air, find some spring flowers, and be reminded that God is still in control.

Losses and Blessings

Ever noticed how when something really negative occurs, something positive is sure to follow? Ever notice how when something is taken away from you, somehow entirely different other blessings arrive on your doorstep?

I've been feeling rather "down" lately. Life as we have known it for the past ten years is taken a giant turn. The friends I love and hold so dear are going to be miles away from me, the quick trip to the grocery store (my favorite place to roam up and down the aisles when anxious or overburdened, is going to be miles away now - like 15 - instead of 3 blocks away. The kitchen we had renovated and decorated in shades of a beautiful mellow green, will be left behind, with my wonderful double ovens (something I had dreamed about owning for years) are, of course, going to be left behind as well.

I've discovered already, that the older we get, the harder it is for change to take place. Rest assured however, we are going to a beautiful spot. The weather couldn't be nicer, and being near our daughter and her children will be great, but still, the change, the packing, and the deciding what to sell, what to pitch and what to keep is challenging!

I was having what one could call a meltdown the other day. I was packing some things in my lovely kitchen, and the tears were flowing. My mother had given us a small amount of money and it was used for the kitchen. Somehow, that room represented her, and the connection of the loss of her and the loss of the kitchen became muddled with each other.

And then the blessings arrived! Ron, who was working in the study, just arrived in the kitchen, put his arms around me and literally hugged me with his heart. He asked what the real problem was, and the dam let loose. That was OK with him - he just let me weep until I could explain. I then decided to take a break from the kitchen and catch up on my e-mails. There was an e-mail from a pastor we had done seminars for years ago. He reported on two wonderful stories of success following his members completing the recovery program. There was another from another country, where current success is occurring far beyond our wildest dreams.

There they were - three wonderful heart-felt blessings to make me understand that our marriage and our work are far more important and impacting than our momentary losses.

As you struggle through the effects of these difficult economic times, look for the blessings that the good Lord pours on you with one hand while the times in which we live and the circumstances of life seem to take away with the other.

How Much For This

Have you ever conducted a tag, yard, garage or moving sale? Did you find it to be a fun experience?

Today was the first day of a two-day event, but we aren't so sure that it'll take two days to sell everything! The huge signs around the neighborhood said that we were going to be open on Thursday and Friday from 8 AM to 3 PM. However, people began to arrive at 7 AM. Perhaps where we live is the Yard or Moving Sale capitol of the world, I am not sure, but I do know that the folk here are great enthusiasts for such events! WOW, they are serious about this sale business!

It took us about three weeks of packing and sorting - not full time, mind you, because we are still teaching and writing and conducting the work of Life Renewal Institute. With the help of two very precious friends, we've been able to spend a couple of hours here and there, and in the last three days, we spent probably 4-5 hours of sorting, boxing, pricing etc.

Well, it's about 4 PM on Day One of the sale. I am in my recliner (a Yard Sale find) that has a vibrator in the lower back area. My feet are propped up, and Baby, am I ever grateful for my yard sale find! My legs are screaming, but know what? Tomorrow's sale is off! We still have a few more things (mainly books from our vast library, but the bookcases are gone! I think we'll wait until after our Portland, Oregon event to have another sale. Who knows? By then there will probably be more "stuff to sell!

I suppose that in this economy, folks are looking for a steal on anything. Items priced at ten cents went as fast as pricier items. The 25 cent items flew off the tables!

Sometimes it takes a while to prepare for an event - a wedding, an anniversary, a special celebration - and before you know it the day is over, Been thinkin' that it's that way with life! Just about the time you think you've finally grown up, the gray hairs and creaky limbs appear. Sometimes you wonder why you never did the things you wanted to do before the aches and pains of maturing age hit ya', but at least you've got those retirement years to do some of what you wanted. If you're one of the lucky ones that the financial meltdown has not affected too drastically, praise God for your blessings. Hop on a golf cart or in your car, and go a-tag-sale-in'. See what bargains you can find, meet some of the nicest people in the world, and thank your God in Heaven for the little things in life!

Disappointments

Everyone experiences them. They are somewhat devastating when they happen, but why do they and how should we respond to them? I suppose a good percentage of the intensity of our reaction depends on the depth of the disappointment and how it affects your life. In our long years of life, we have come to realize that many of them, or maybe all of them, happen for a reason and are divinely appointed.

Just after the holidays, we were scheduled to leave NM and head back to Phoenix for a day or two and then on to a speaking appointment in Florida. On the day we were to leave NM, it began to rain cats and dogs - no really phone calls - and in the middle of all the calls, we endeavored to check on our flight to verify departure and arrival times. That's when the terror hit!

The airline that we always use had no record of our booking the needed flights. We even asked a friend to check the place in our office where we keep our reservations, and no information about the needed flight was there! We checked the credit card records - nothing! We were in an incredible mess. Add to that the fact that we had enjoyed house guests from the 23rd until the 4th of the succeeding month, and much energy had been expended there, so we were a bit weary. I was endeavoring to pack the appropriate items for that particular appointment plus whatever we would need for the next five weeks of absence from home - traveling to appointments.

Finally, when everything possible had been checked we checked with the airlines to find a price for the needed flight. UGH! Nowadays, you book in advance, or it's "socked to ya'!" You can be sure that we were disappointed - or more like devastated! So.o.o. what to do?

Suddenly a thought came to me. Instead of jamming all of the packing and planning into one day and then hitting the road for an 8 hour drive back to Phoenix, unpacking the car, packing for our appointment and rushing to the airport, why not stay here (since we had to book another flight anyway) and fly from here rather than from Phoenix. We looked at each other in shock as the words came out of my mouth, and then breathed a corporate sigh of relief. We could "cool it."

So that's just what we did. You know, the older one gets, the wiser it is to do just that - cool it. Recognize that most disappointments work out as well or better in the end, and in many of the cases, there is a hidden blessing to be enjoyed.

I guess the old saying, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade," is a valid and smart one!

Pears n Pairs

After a lengthy absence from home, beginning the end of January, I went to the office and noticed that my calendar was still on January. As I turned the page to pass February and land in March, I noticed that my February calendar, entitled "Flavors of Life," had a giant picture of a pair of pears on the February page. How coincidental - or was it?

We have spent the last four seminars ministering to pairs - to couples. In this picture, two Bosc pairs sit on a table, surrounded by their leaves. The left pair, slight larger and taller than the right one, leans toward the other with it's top curled slightly over it's companion pair in a protective stance. The right pair leans into the embrace. These two pears do indeed, look like a human pair, snuggled to each other. What a profound picture.

God did create first the male, the stronger of the two, to be provider, protector and priest. And when He saw that it was not good for man to be alone, he created a "helper suitable for him" to be the concerned, compassionate caregiver. Amazing how this picture on my calendar seems to depict that.

As we have dealt with couples here in the US, the Czeck Republic, Russia, the islands of the Caribbean, Singapore and in Guam and England, we have discovered that the issues they confront are not appreciably different from each other. The issue of selfishness raises its ugly head everywhere, and to be sure, each individual brings into their relationship, the issues that they carry from previous generations in their own families. He brings his junk, she brings hers and together they make more of the same.

How in the world do we get around this? We DON'T! We have to go headlong, straight through it. We have to look at our beginnings, going back in previous generations as far as we can to find and then acknowledge the trash that has been handed to us. Of course, we wade through that to discover the good we received, because there's always some of that. And then each one in the couple must do the work of removing the emotional charges from their old memories. This will guarantee that her junk doesn't affect him and visa versa.

There's a process to help you do that work - thought you might like to know. Actually there are three choices:

a 22 session recovery program

a scientific and more complete approach to emotional healing (4, 10-session segments)

This one's been out a while, but is still effective.

So if you want your marital picture to look like the pair of pears, and it currently doesn't, may we suggest the above restitutional programs?

Don't Do What We've Done

Paper, paper everywhere - and much more stuff to shred! My Grandmother's stuff, my parents' stuff and ours! It's just too much when one finally comes to downsizing and packing to move.

We have had a storage room off of our garage, where we have kept files and files of not-needed and now definitely unwanted papers of all types. You don't want to know how many bags of shredded paper our poor garbage man has had to haul off- unbelievable. There was just NO WAY we were going to cart it all to our smaller house that does not have a garage nor a storage room, and is in itself, much smaller than our house here.

Reminds me of the stuff of our lives that we keep and just don't need to! Of course there are precious, treasured memories, that we hope we'll never loose, but there are other experiences and thoughts and feelings that we need to shred and put in some never-to-be-looked-at-again landfill, far away!

After all of the research that we have done about the human mind and it's power, we believe that those long ago, should-have-been-trashed memories, that are filled with the accompanying emotion, slow down our thinking and create glitches in our recall and thought processes as we age. We believe that many seniors loose awareness and memory because there's too much "paper" (recorded memory and emotions) junking up the brain, just like the unwanted paper has cluttered our storage room and study.

You know, one of the finest thing we can do for seniors, is to get them to talk about the past - their lives, their loves, their pain, their regrets. That's like helping them to identify unneeded paper and shredding it, making things ever so much simpler. Maybe, before you are a senior, you should start talking or writing about some of your memories. It's the painful ones that drag us down, because the accompanying negative emotions pull us toward sadness, anger, fear and a host of other negative emotions.

Moral of this blog - start shredding NOW!

It's Everywhere

We are in Sun City, the retirement capitol of the world! Many people play golf here on one of the MANY courses, and most people, whether or not they play golf, own a golf cart. They are fun open-air vehicles that don't go much faster than 30 mph, and can be used on most streets here in town.

Yesterday Deb and I decided to go for a ride - fresh air, sunshine and all that! We had some rolls left over from the previous supper, and decided to donate them to the ducks at one of the local ponds, so off we went.

When we arrived, we were swarmed by pigeons, who I suppose thought that they were going to get the hand-out, but we had our minds made up - this bread was for the ducks! As we approached the water's edge with our bag of goodies, the ducks swam quickly to greet us, hoping that our sack contained their snack.

After that fifteen minute experience, we have decided that the ducks are no different from humans in their need to be first, their selfish greed and their eagerness to do whatever it takes to get ahead!

Two black ducks seemed to be standing on top of the water as they fought each other over a few crumbs. They snipped and bit each other, and the battle finally ended when one ducked under the water and bobbed up elsewhere. But that wasn't enough for the aggressor, who quickly paddled to where his partner had popped up, to snip and bite at him again!

One brown duck, who Deb's granddaughter had named "Peanut Butter" was a target of much jealousy, as Deb tried, almost in vain, to see that Peanut Butter got her fair share. Two other brown ducks attacked, attempting to chase her away from the landing bread scraps.

There was one pure white duck on the pond in the midst of beautiful iridescent purple and green headed mallards. "Whitey" seemed to shrink back, reticent to swim forward within reach of the bread. This was the shy duck, more interested in harmony with the others than in eating himself.

Most swam as fast as possible to bread scraps landing in the water from the shore. They would circle and dive for the bread as for lost treasure. Actually, the scene was reminiscent of a football game's big tacle or a parade, where candy is being thrown to the bystanders from people on a passing float.

"I want, I want, Gimmee, That's mine!, Me first, It's my turn." Ever watch a group of people wanting to be the first to board a plane or a train or a bus? It's as if the world will come to an end if they aren't first to board.I guess it's about survival, but are we so self-centered and selfish, that we, like the ducks, don't care who we hurt as long as we get "it" first and make sure that what we do get is the BEST? Do we step on others to get to the top?

Watch people for a week or two, and write in with your thoughts. See how many "Whiteys" you can find in the crowd versus the others who will do whatever they can to get "the bread."

Love Without Boundaries

The love of a parent for a child is, in most cases, boundless. Oh, you do read in the papers or see on the evening news, cases of parents who lock their children in cages, beat them, sexually abuse them, etc. Many of you have no doubt read about David Pelzer, who has authored several books about his childhood of abuse by his mother primarily, and by his father’s neglect. Most parents do not conceive a child and then spend the nine months of gestation conjuring up ways to hurt that child. But hurt to our children by us as parents, happens anyway, just by us being ourselves, and passing on to them what we received from our parents.

If you are a parent, chances are good that you have been hurt by your children. In their way, they may be “paying you back” for their negative childhood experiences. It’s quite possible that they aren’t inflicting pain upon you intentionally, but that their sub-conscious mind is being thoughtless, neglectful or punishing you unintentionally.

And still you, as a parent, continue on loving that child. The reason that what they do hurts so much is that you do care and love deeply. What parent doesn’t long for an open, honest, loving and enjoyable relationship with their child? When it isn’t that way, you spend hours asking yourself what pain you inflicted on them that they are retaliating for now.

God gave each person a heart – an organ that pumps around life-giving blood throughout the body – AND, responds to emotions. An old saying, “He or she died of a broken heart” is very true in many cases today. Our blood pumper responds to what’s going on around us. It aches, it beats fast, it gets out of rhythm or it feels like it’s beating its way out of your chest. And the heart loves. The brain may use logic to argue why we should stop loving, but our heart fights back much more powerfully (actually 60 times more powerfully) than our brain. So the heart continues to love.

The truth was told in an old story, written many years ago and made into a Hollywood movie. It was spoken by the rusted Tin Man in The Wizard of OZ. “Now I know I have a heart’” he said, “because it’s breaking”.

While you might be saddened by the behaviors of your child, your spouse or your friend, be assured, that when you feel your heart is breaking, at least you know you have one. Your heart was designed to love, so breaking or not, keep on using it to love!

Play to Your Strengths

In Fred Epstein’s book, If I Get to Five, he states:

“To the degree that we can continue to access those childhood strengths as adults, we’ll be more resilient, more successful and more fulfilled.”

A good statement, I thought, so I began to ponder its meaning to me – and to those I know well. Rather than look at my deficits, I should examine myself to see what strengths I possessed back when I was four or five – what traits of character I had then that I still have and can use to benefit others and myself.

I was adventurous, curious, a “want to know” kind of girl. And you know what? I still am! I want to know what makes me tick, and I want to know about others too. I am interested in the lives of others, and want to know how I can benefit them so that they feel successful and filled with joy.

But . . . one can take that strength to an extreme, and then it becomes harmful. There is something about my personality type – that “forever a nurse” in me – that wants to fix people who are hurting. But I have come to realize that not everyone wants to be helped or fixed. I sometimes still am learning that lesson, usually the hard way.

The truth is however, found in Epstein’s statement. Being interested in people has been my joy and then my career since I was that little four year old who was friendly with everyone in my neighborhood. Even “Cop Kelly” who walked by our house every morning in his uniform on his way to his daily “beat,” was my friend.

You know, I also remember that my parents were concerned about my interest in people and my friendliness, and wanted me to curb it. It’s been the case all through my life that someone has wanted me to stop being who God made me to be. Yet I know that when I am true to my “calling”, my strength, I feel most successful, most fulfilled.

How about you? Can you identify a strength that you had in childhood that has carried throughout your life? What is it? We at Life Renewal would love to hear from you! Write in to LRI Connect!

See, I’m being concerned about people, again. Oh well!

Believe in Miracles

Our daughter was about to start first grade. She was excited and so were we, so our preparations began in earnest well in advance of the start date. On our agenda, in addition to the new school clothes, was a visit to our family pediatrician for a physical exam.

The exam nearly over, the doctor took her to the eye chart. There, one of a parent’s worst nightmares came true. Naomi could only read the huge E at the top of the chart! Immediately, the pediatrician made an appointment with an ophthalmologist, and we saw her that afternoon. What we learned was frightening indeed, so we were sent on to Massachusetts Eye and Ear, a world famous clinic.

There, pictures were taken of Naomi’s retina, and we spent half a day in tests. Dr, Burson told Ron and I that our daughter was legally blind and would be totally blind within a year – Rubella Retinopathy was the cause, he said. That doctor referred us back to our ophthalmologist, who wasn’t yet satisfied, even though the slides of Naomi’s retinas accompanied her records. We were sent back to Massachusetts Eye and Ear to the world’s leading retina specialist. After a full day of testing, we were ushered into the physician’s office. One physician read aloud the results of her day’s tests while the other looked into her eyes with the ophthalmoscope.

Suddenly, the physician swung around on his chair. “Mom and Dad,” he exclaimed, “take your girl home. There’s nothing wrong with her eyes and there never will be unless she has some sort of accident.”

“But doctor,” we questioned, “How is this possible? There are pictures of her retina that show rubella retinopathy. We don’t understand!”

“Yes,” he replied. “I have the pictures. Last week there were spots on her retina. Today there are none. You believe in prayer, don’t you?”

Of course we believed in prayer, and what we had just witnessed was a miracle. God still is in the miracle business. We have seen several miracles done for that daughter, and we count on them to continue today.

Believing in miracles helps us to recognize them when they are dropped in our laps, as they often are. Our disbelief prevents us from seeing them and being thankful to the One who so generously sends them our way.

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Face Your Fears

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. - Ambrose Redmoon

Have you ever been scared to death? I have! It was about three and a half years ago, when an MRI revealed that I had a big problem in my neck – a problem that required a surgical intervention to fix it.

Being a nurse can certainly have its advantages and it can also be detrimental, in that you picture the worst. In my case, I was mortified of the anesthesia, and having a doctor working so closely to my spine was daunting at best! However, neglecting to have the surgery was a surefire way to become paralyzed and remain in severe pain. So…. it was off to the hospital for me.

My surgeon lives about a fourteen hour drive from our home, so we set off in the car on this adventure. About halfway to our destination, I burst into tears and shared with Ron how frightened I was. I said that I was afraid that if the surgery didn’t do me in, my fear would.

Now, I really had no choice but to face the thing I feared, but I didn’t have to face it alone. I suggested to Ron that perhaps he and my surgeon, a wonderful Christian man and the local pastor there, would pray together for me – a special service called an anointing. Ron agreed that it was a good idea.

The night before surgery, I met at the church with the three men, and the anointing took place. They prayed that my fear would be relieved and that the surgery would be successful. The next morning, as I was wheeled to the operating room, I sang. I sang a hymn that I had learned as a child. As the anesthetist was starting to put me to sleep, I continued singing, quietly to myself. What a way to go to sleep!

I faced my fear – the surgery and the anesthesia, but I took along with me the assurance, the fortitude that I had obtained the night before. I learned that day that I can face most anything as long as I am not alone.

How do you face your fears – or do you? What gives you the daring to look fear in the eye, and move forward anyway? Sure would love to hear from you! We’ll post some of your responses on the website.

Oh, by the way, the five hour operation was a big success!

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Live in the Moment

Some folk are scheduled to the max! I don’t mean that they are extremely busy, but that they have a day and time for every activity in which they engage. Monday supper is something chicken, Tuesday its beef, Wednesday is spaghetti day, Thursday is soup and salad, Friday . . . well, you get the point.

Are you so scheduled that you can’t throw in a wash on Tuesday, or refuse to shop for groceries any time other than Thursday evening? Do you never stay out past nine o’clock during the week, or because you must have your eight hours of beauty sleep and be to work by 8 am, you avoid socializing during the week?

Living in the moment, being spontaneous offers opportunities that you might never have unless you break free of your routine. To be sure, having a certain amount of routine can be valuable, but being married to that rigid routine, negates many experiences that spontaneity can offer.

Children have the ability to enjoy every moment; to respond positively to invitations regardless of the “what if’s.” Maybe that’s one of the reasons that the Bible tells us that we should be like children – open, accepting, free and untied to a set-in-cement routine.

In his book, "If I Get to Five", Frank Epstein, M.D. states: “Adults tend to learn a different lesson as we grow older – that our identity is gradually hardening into a form-fitting shell that defines who we are, what we believe, and what we can accomplish. And that’s the trap we all have to avoid, because once we believe we’re as grown up as we’ll ever get, it’s Game Over.”

One little boy in Dr. Epstein’s book had endured two arduous spinal operations and was scheduled for a third. This time, he was scared to death. He had begged his mother to buy him a rather pricey Batman costume, which she was previously reluctant to do. The morning of his surgery, they left their house early, went by the costume shop and she bought the Batman outfit for her son.

In the hospital’s parking lot, they hid behind their car and he changed into the costume. With renewed courage, he marched in to the hospital and toward the operating room, having left his fear behind. As he passed through the corridors, nurses, doctors and patients called out, “Hey Batman!” Those moments of spontaneity gave him the fortitude to face surgery number three bravely.

Sometimes you just have to step out of the ordinary, the routine, the safe or the expected, become someone different than the usual, and live life to the fullest, in the moment. Try it!

Stony Ground and Trials

While we have been enjoying the summer in the cool, clear, mountain air at our retreat, we have also been doing a lot of landscaping, or I should say our friends have with the help of their excavator. Our property is looking so much better now, that it’s become quite inspiring. My friend Donna and I were so inspired, that we decided to take the Kawasaki “Mule” into the forest to see if we could dig out a few tiny trees to use around our property. We had seen so many little cuties, so armed with a shovel and a hand spade, her Mini-Schnauzer, Toby, and our Maddie, we headed for the woods.

We schmoozed around until we found a little fir, about a foot tall. “This will be easy,” we told each other, as we dismounted and grabbed our tools. But we were in for quite a surprise!
We couldn’t seem to get to the soil for all of the rocks surrounding that spindly tree trunk. The two of us, bent in half, struggled and struggled for about twenty minutes, and kept telling ourselves that we were crazy to pursue. But it’s like this, we were both focused, big time, on getting that little tree. So we persevered until finally we were able to free the roots from the rocks to which it had clung so tightly.

We are so proud that we succeeded, and will plant that little stubborn character some place special on the property, and each time we see it and watch it grow, we’ll recall the lesson we learned from that tree.

It may be tough to grow in stony ground, to work your way through the trials and hard experiences of life, but that enables you to build strength – physical strength and strength of character.

When the destructive experiences come, those that would destroy you, you will have the strength to hold fast, to not become discouraged or dislodged from your position. Your roots can grow very deep into the nourishing soil of God’s love and grace.

Someone once said that the trials we endure are workmen to help us to perfect our character. Just yesterday, I told that to a friend who has endured a concentration of agony lately. Her husband had a fall while they were on a foreign vacation – a fall that nearly took his life due to multiple internal injuries. Weeks later on a trip to see family, she had a fall, and broke a vertebra in her back. Her husband’s blood pressure remains difficult to control since his fall, and just last night, his temperature escalated. Next morning, it was discovered that he has an impacted and infected wisdom tooth that has to come out. And she faces still the possibility of serious back surgery or body cast. Today we learned that in addition to everything else going on, her hubby has Shingles, as well. It’s as if a black cloud has parked above their heads with no intention of moving on out!

Trials are the rocks through which we must grow. They do build strength and endurance, and if you are anything like trees, you surely will grow strong and be able to endure such things as the pull and tug caused by two foolish women endeavoring to transplant you. Unlike the tree, you will not be moved!