Have you ever thought about what you would do if your mate had a serious illness that was going to be ongoing for a long time? Have you ever found yourself taking care of a loved one and discovered that you didn't have as much patience as you thought you did? What would you do if your mate really needed 24 hour care and you were the one doing it? How would you decide if a nursing home, or home health, or live in assistance or doing the care yourself was the best idea?
We have a friend who has been ill for 40 years with Parkinson's Disease. It has progressed to the point where she is basically bent in half and requires round-the-clock care. She and her husband have been married for 61 years, and she remains at home with live-in care. Another couple we know deal with having endured several strokes, and the partner of nearly half a century, lovingly cares at home, and they even go on trips together.
Do a bit of self-evaluation. What would it take for you to give up on your marriage? Would you take the easier path of not dealing with an invalid partner, by just placing them in a facility when you could make some arrangements for in-home care so that you can be together? One of the saddest pictures to look at is a couple who have lost their partner into Alzheimer's Disease. The mate looks perfectly healthy, but the eyes are vacant and the mind confused and forgetful. How difficult is would be to have your mate slip away while still with you.
Watching couples who are devoted and committed to each other regardless of the blows that life brings them is inspiring. We are being blessed this week by such a couple visiting in our home. God Bless them both for 48 years of adoration and commitment, regardless of life's hardships.
Think on this . . . what would you do? what have you done? How has it felt and how have you coped. Your comments are welcomed!!
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011
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I have experienced this with my mom. It was a very painful thing because I never knew exactly when she went away. A death can be mourned, but it is strangely challenging to mourn the living dead.
ReplyDeleteI think it is hard to make the decision of how care should be given until you are in the situation, but it is a good exercise to think of it ahead of time. I know that God will give me the grace and wisdom to deal with this type of situation in my own marriage if and when the time comes to address it.
God bless you for tackling difficult topics!