Suggestions for Marital Success

So may long for more joy and happiness in their marriage, yet have tried nothing or only tried the roses and chocolates "game."  That's a nice temporary fix for the recipient, but often the question asked by the receiver of such pleasant gifts, is: "OK, what do you want?"  This implies that the chocolates and roses are simply bribes to get more of what the giver wants.

Let's look at some pointers from our book "Heart Connection," and please do note that these are from the last chapter of the book.  The real "meat" for understanding is found in the previous nine chapters. We will do one a day until we cover the pointers, and will refer you to the book in its entirety.

1.  Start this very minute. Wherever you are, whatever your partner is or what he/she is doing, STOP! Now go to God, and ask Him to assist you to open your heart to your mate.  Only speak the truth to your mate as God gives it to you. You do not give or receive the kind of love you truly desire by generating it within yourself. That unconditional love comes from God and He longs to give it to you to be passed on to your mate as you experience it from God. It is true that God wants you to love yourself, because it is with that same love He gives you for yourself, that you will love your mate, your parents, your children and others. Any time that love has the face of selfishness on it (I'm giving in order to get) it is not God's perfect love.  Even the words "I love you" are often used as a priming of the pump, so to speak, so that you will hear it from another to you.  This is selfish, human love, which gives in order to get.

Consider this prayer:  "Lord, I come to you as an imperfect human being with a desire to be loved and accepted.  First of all Lord, please show me what it is that blocks me from loving myself and others as I ought to.  Give me strength to let go of those things that imprison me into a ball of selfish needs, unable to receive from you and to give out your love to others.  I long to be filled with your unconditional love, Lord, and to give your love out to my mate. Give me the courage to receive and to impart your love to my husband/wife, I pray, and thank you for already doing so.  Amen."



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