Laugh As Much As You Breathe

"Laugh as much as you breathe, Love as long as you live"

These are the words inscribed on the beautiful frame that was given to us by our daughters and their families for our anniversary.

The evening of the 15th came along with much excitement this year. On other anniversaries, we have worked or been traveling to a speaking appointment. This year, we had the privilege of being home for the big day. Church was exciting, as our new pastor preached and the service was followed by a luncheon and a special honoring of our 44 years by the "saints." We came home for a short rest, and then got ready for a long awaited evening "out" at a very special place in Ruidoso, New Mexico.

Mountain Annie's is a place that offers special dinners and accompanying theaters performances by well-known musicians. We had heard that the trio of musicians, performing on the 15th were extra special, and we were excited to experience a "dress-up" night out.

When we arrived we spent about half an hour listening to other musicians on the patio, and then time for dinner was announced. We headed into the theater and found our assigned table - table ten. There we were greeted by others at the table who said excitedly, "You two must be the anniversary couple! Look at these things that were brought to the table for you!"

There on the table sat a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a picture frame inscribed with the above words. Propped against the vase of flowers was a tiny envelope labeled, "Mom and Dad." We opened the envelope to read:

"Happy 44th!!! We love and are proud of you and your years together"
Your Girls, Sara & ‘Omi, along with the sons & grandchildren!
XO XO

WOW!!! Our evening began with tears, not laughter, but they were tears of joy - joy and gratitude for the gift that God gave us 41 and 40 years ago - our beautiful girls, and for the gifts of our "sons" and grandchildren along the way.

There has not always been laughter, certainly not continuously, but even in our deepest pain we did find a few things to laugh about, now and then. The older we get, the more we realize that as Art Linkletter often said, "People are funny!" Our responses to the circumstances of life are often comical when we look back on them. How foolish we have been trying to get our needs met; how selfish and me-centered we have behaved. What a waste. Too soon old and too late smart, but better late than never.

So girls and family, you are so right.

"Laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live"- do that which is in the best interest of another, regardless of your feelings. And thank you so much for the gift of your love, so beautifully displayed on our 44th!

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Anniversary

We just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. ‘Tis true, we were married on August 15th, the hottest and most humid day of 1965 in New London, Connecticut. All the pictures of me at our wedding show that, ‘cuz my hair frizzed like mad. A new perm and very high humidity caused that!

We look back over these 44 years and feel more like it's been 44 days or maybe 44 minutes - well, we know it's not minutes because it's not humid here and now. We wonder how we managed to survive the first few years of our marriage - they were horrific! Four surgeries and two babies, seven years of put hubby through college, and all of the financial and relational issues that accompanied these events were added to our own personal junk, creating major strains in our relationship!

We've managed, because of grace and mercy, to not just survive, but to thrive during these last 24 years. If you just do the math, you'll discover that it took a while for us to learn what was necessary for personal growth and maturation and for marital restoration. And that's okay, we say, because very seldom does anything worth having, appear instantly! Homemade bread, a beautiful piece of art, a comfortable home and character development - all take time!

Unfortunately, many people suffer for most of their lives and/or their marriages and finally give up - ending up in divorce court, or living quiet lives of misery and discontent. What a waste of two lives. What a poor showing for people of God, who should be demonstrating love and success to the world.

You know other than misery or divorce, there is a third option - fix it! I know, maybe you've tried and you may have even sought out help, but couldn't find solutions. We played that game for years too. One of the major reasons that help seems elusive, is that rather than looking in our own mirror at the image coming back at us, at the attitudes and behaviors that we display, we choose to turn the mirror around and point it at our partners. "If only my wife would . . .," "If only my husband wouldn't . . .". We play the blame game. It's gotta' be the other person's fault; certainly not our's!

Let me tell you something. The hardest and bravest thing you can do to improve your life, your relationships or your attitudes is to finally take a long, hard look in the mirror - It was do or die for us; get a divorce or fix it. Neither of us was interested in misery for the rest of our lives!

The healing process was torture for Ron and I. We really had no guidelines or mentors. But we braved the process that we created, and now we offer that process to those who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Take a peek at our offerings here on the website. Binding the Wounds and The Journey are two valuable introspection mirrors - tools for recovery. You need only a couple more people (same sex as you or you and your husband/wife) and the materials, and you set a time once a week for a two hour growing and renewing experience!

And remember, the great key to your success, is looking in the mirror at yourself! Even the Bible tells us that we should "examine yourself," and that's the source of your BEST counsel!

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